A walk in the Jungle.

Sometimes I have to just stop thinking about what I want to write and actually just start writing! Sometimes my emotions are all over the place and I don’t know who to turn to and who can make it better. But I know that it’s okay. Because I have this keyboard, and I have these thoughts. Even if you don’t understand, you’ll at least know how I feel. And right now this is how I feel. I am walking on this path with no guidance and no protection. Why am I doing this alone? Why is no one on this journey with me? How come I can’t come home to someone and tell them about my bad day and get a foot rub because I’ve worked so hard and I deserved it? Now I admit, I turn so many guys down a day and then some I only talk to because I don’t want to feel alone. I know it sounds bad but it’s the honest truth. And that’s what this blog is about, my truth. I want someone special. Someone to appreciate all the things AMBER comes with. It’s not always just good looks and a giggly attitude. It’s much more than that. Sometimes I’m a complete bitch. Sometimes I only act like a bitch to get attention so I know that people care. Sometimes I make things all about me, and sometimes I can be possessive. But I am me, and I want to walk this journey with someone other than myself. But I think what’s even worse is the fact that walking this journey alone is out of my control. And that takes us to another point about me. I HATE being out of control. My business came about because I wanted to be in control, something wasn’t going my way so I had to control the situation. I am a control freak. And because I have no say so in who walks this journey with me, I’m really frustrated. I like to be in control but I also just want a guy that is willing to take initiative to treat me better than the rest of the single women out here. Appreciate me and alllll my corny jokes. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Sex isn’t even the same without someone who I can truly connect with. Support me. Be my rock, you know? I can’t continue to gamble with these 2017 single men. It’s not the same. I’m tired of running into the same type of guys. Are they really a reflection of me? Because if so, I have a lot to change about myself. But I just want my shield sometimes. I don’t want to walk into the jungle without my camouflage and body armor on. I need a special one to come and be my armor. Protect your queen. Don’t let me just walk alone.

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