Am I enough?

Am I enough?

The deepest part of me feels like I’ll never be enough. Anywhere. I can comb my hair one thousand times. Not enough. I can stoke my makeup brush against my scarred face for an hour. Still not enough. I can drive across to town to see you on a rainy night, just to make you do that little chuckle you do when something I say isn’t funny but your'e too protective to tell me that it’s not. But is it enough? NO. I can TAKE YOU UNDER MY WING, BOOST YOUR SELF ESTEEM, and give you a reason to feel loved and appreciated. Still not enough. Why do I have to sacrifice so much of myself to make you happy when I don’t see that reciprocated in your behavior? WICKED.

What is it about me that keeps me so secluded? I mean, love comes in all forms but I’ll never be good enough to grow in your garden.

I’ll never be good enough to sit and your table and eat the finest meals the restaurant has to offer.

I’ll never be good enough to get a birthday card with “I love you wife.” in it.

I’ll never be good enough to sit front row at your fashion show & have photographs taken of me, wearing your clothes.

Or am I?

Maybe you’re the one that’s not enough?....I don’t know.

I mean you chose him over me? And I chose him over you. So maybe I got what I deserved.

But to be completely blunt, I don’t think I’ve ever been good enough for you.

But I can tell you what I AM good enough for.

I am good enough for you to make fun of.
I am good enough for you to take the little money I have to put in your pockets.
I am good enough to lay around with you and have sex with you day after day while you keep my presence concealed in hopes to keep her happy.


I am enough.

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