Such a Sad Love Story

I think we should stop fighting it. I mean they do say life is so short, so what’s holding us back? I feel like when we are together, you are my protection. I always feel so safe with you. Like… you won’t let anything bad happen to me.

You are so kind a gentle. Maybe not on the outside because you want to put up your guard. And I do the same thing. I use that shield so I won’t get hurt again but my oh my are you so gentle. When we are alone and you can be your complete self around me, it’s the best feeling in the world. Granted, I wish you would be that person around me more often, but I get it. I don’t want to let my guard down just yet either. But I will. For you.

You make me giggle, you know those laughs, when your drink comes out of your nose. Or those laughs where your cheeks and stomach start to hurt entirely too much. That’s what we do, sometimes.
But sometimes, you can also be really mean. You know how to turn my smile into a frown really quickly. By giving me reality. The reality of our situations. The reality that this fantasy world I’m living in just may not be what I want. You tell me exactly what I NEED to hear and not always what I WANT to hear. The very illusion that we would pick out furniture for our home together, or that we would fuss over who’s turn it is to do the dishes, is just that. An illusion. A very realistic one. But you shoot that down, any chance you get.

Sometimes I want to give you space. But then you call me, because you miss me. And you know I miss you back. This constant cycle of emotions is actually quite… fun. You never know what’ll happen with us. And that’s what I look for in you. Versatility. You’ve trained me to your ways, and I have trained you to mine.
But then there are those days.

Those days that I don’t want to necessarily be involved. Not specifically to you, but to anyone. Those days I want to have my freedom and go to restaurants with cool guys that can make me laugh. Or watch a movie with someone that tells me I’m amazing constantly.

I think as humans it’s our natural instinct to be curious. Curious to know what else is out there. Where can life take me? What can I do for myself without being tied down? These are all questions I think to myself more often than not.

But then I think, how amazing would it be to share life’s adventures with you. I could do these things without you, but it might be much more fulfilling with you there. Every step of the way, seeing me grow and seeing the things we want unfold right before each other’s eyes.
But what if those things are in the way?


What if the very thing I want, does not coincide with goals you have for yourself? Could that be the reason you aren’t taking things serious with me? I certainly don’t want you to change your goals for me and I certainly don’t think I should have to do that for you. If that’s what it is… this is such a sad love story. 

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