Wine Talk with Amber

So eloquently, you make me move. Each and every time, I fall. Caught in your web of lies. Deception. You’ve mastered the art of your subliminal manipulation. And even after I carefully analyze the screams inside my head, Telling me it’s just a trap, I still can’t help myself. Almost in a sense that I crave it. What’s the meaning of toxic? You and me. Everything about you is dangerous. Yet I retreat in you. I keep replaying the damage thus far between us in my head. Knowing what’s next to come. But, your spell draws me back in each time. Remember when you told me, that you two wouldn’t last? And you gave me the idea that we could try again. How could I have fluffed those pillows and lie back in your bed of deceit… Yet again. Now, I could make it seem like it was all on you. But here’s the part where I take accountability. Because, even in those sweet lies that you tell… I still know  you . Deeper than the visuals. And you’re a game I’m so desperately waiting to play. Because you see...

  What is there left to empathize when I’ve given you every part of me. I’ve given you every part of my existence. The happiness. The sorrow. The deepest parts of my death lie within you. I’ve given it all up. Empathy. Why should I be empathic to you? You’ve got it all. I can’t believe I let you have everything that comes with me. You see, you broke down barriers that I’ve worked so hard to build. I never wanted you to see me at my most vulnerable. I’ve shown you parts of me that even I didn’t want to see. My truth. My sexual depth. My traumas. And triggers. I’ve shown you who I am when I’m at my weakest. And when I’ve been at my highest. I’ve taken everything you’ve given me. And treated it like a rare feather. With care. And tenderness. Because I know what it’s like for someone to not know who you are. And even my purest intentions can be misconstrued. Damn. That hurt. I can’t lie. But you know what? Maybe you’re right. I don’t have empathy. Because where’s my empathy when someon...

The depth of you is too deep for me to wash away. My tongue wrapped around the vermillion border of your lips. I taste your skin. My hands caress against each pore of your face. Slowly streaking sensually along the ridges of your cheekbone and down to the core of your neck. Oh, I love the warmth of you. Our eyes meet and then mine gradually lock into the presence of your soul. Eyes sunken into a world of extreme darkness. I see beyond your chestnut pupils. I want all of you. I want to hear your sweet moans. Begging for me to release the grasp I have on your vitality. Gasping for air, but I’m not quite ready to unleash my grip yet. The light of your spirit captures me every time I gaze into your existence. The calmness of your love quivers down my spine. I can’t surrender the chills that overcome me when I’m with you. I won’t.  Let me become one with you. Smother you in the golden trimming of my tongue. We can take a walk in the tropical paradise of your sunset. My fingers enjoying ...

I thought you were  gonna  be my rock? I thought we would be able to hold each other on those bad days? You know those days when my hair doesn’t lay the right way… then I go into work and get yelled at for not meeting my deadline…  And then I forget my lunch on the countertop at home & have to buy lunch when I needed that money for the cable bill due the next day. I thought you were going to be there. I thought you would be there for those days when I didn’t need you to criticize me but instead I needed you to compliment my lipstick and the shoes I decided to wear to look pretty for you. Why weren’t you there?   Baby, I know I sound a little selfish but was I ever really taught to love? I’m trying to learn from you. I wasn’t shown the correct way to love.  But is there really even a correct way? All I know is the way that I know. All you know is the way that you know. I thought you were going to be there to teach me your way. Teach me how you want to be love...