Wine Talk with Amber

  Even in a time of such uncertainty between us, you showed up for me. I didn’t even think you would come, And there you were, standing there. My eyes lit up with excitement when I saw your face. Those butterflies in my stomach started to churn.  I wish you could have stayed longer. I begged. Normally you would give in, But this time you did not. We had spinach empanadas with a side of great laughter.  Sweet touches accompanied by an ocean view. & remember how the waves of the beach almost took us out- ha! Even without you being mine, we built another experience together. 1 day. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. With you. And I am grateful. That day I couldn’t understand why you couldn’t stay. But today I do. 

 I am truly in love with you.   I love you enough to know that I’m not ready for you, I’ve caused you so much damage and for that I’m truly sorry. I’m in a weird spot with my feelings for you because on one hand, I KNOW you are the love of my life and I want nothing more than eternal bliss with you.  On the other hand, I’ve caused you so much pain and have done things that have damaged your perception of me that I know for a fact I’m not ready to change. There are just certain things and people in my life that I absolutely am not ready to let go of. And because of that, I can’t be with you.  But don’t for a second confuse that with me picking them over you. It’s merely a personal development hurdle that, if I’m being honest, is not something that I’ve been able to get over. You and I both know what I’m referring to.  I’ve tried time and time again to let it go. I’m not going to make excuses. You always said that I lacked accountability. When really, I am account...