Married to Isolation


 Smooth sailing is what they say right? 


Well how come it feels like a high tide when I try to express myself to you.


How come every statement has to be matched with a defense?


Every time I try to express myself, I then become the bad guy.


Why can’t you validate my feelings?


You beg me to tell you how I feel…


And then as soon as I do, you somehow become the victim in my story.


Why do I have to play it safe to appease your ego?


I’m exhausted from trying to swim in your oceans,


While ignoring my own.


Keep it simple and sweet.


Yeah- I’ve tried going down that road,


The driveway to a safer place.


But yet, that seems to not be enough.


When I take that detour,


And give you just a piece of how I feel…


Then I’m “keeping secrets”.


And holding back.


Now I’m showing you that I don’t trust you.


And you’re right, I don’t.


Because when I open up and become vulnerable with you,


…. what happens?


They say an insane person does the same thing and expects different results right?


So yes I’d rather crawl back into my bed of seclusion.


And make love to isolation.


Because even then I know, isolation will love me the exact same way each and every time.


And welcome me with open arms.


You see…


Isolation doesn’t ask me why I’ve been gone so long.


Or beg me to express myself.


Or make me feel like I have to explain my every move.


Isolation shows me a good ass time.


Let’s me swim in the sheer presence of existence.


And allows me to leave as I need to.


The best part of it all?


It’ll be exactly where I left it when I get back to bed.




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