Lost
Nobody told me that growing into a spiritual journey would feel like a death. Letting go of all that I know makes me feel like I’m selling out. Like I’m giving up on the people that were there for me during my struggles. It feels like I’m judging everybody and everything they do. Like I’m on a “high horse”. Like I think I’m better than everyone. It feels like I’m not giving people grace to be themselves. When really, I’m just trying to fit in spaces where people don’t want to like me for who I am. I said, I’m just trying to fit in spaces where people don’t want to like me for who I am. So really am I judging? Or am I surrounding myself in places that I’m not meant to be in. All my life it’s been so hard to feel connected. To my family. To my “friends”. And guilt creeps in. When I want to be left alone. And I feel like I can’t trust the people that are closest to me. I hope this never reaches them. What’s real and what’s just really in my head?...